


Supernova

by BMWM



Category: Naruto
Genre: Abuse, Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Bathing/Washing, Beds, Bottoming, Coercion, Crying, Dark, Dating, Domestic, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fights, First Time Bottoming, Firsts, Flashbacks, Hatred, Higher Education, Hurt, I'm Sorry, Intoxication, Issues, Kinks, Loss, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Miscarriage, Misunderstandings, Modern Era, One Shot, Orgasm, Out of Character, PTSD, Porn, Possessive Behavior, Pregnancy, Relationship(s), Romance, Roughness, Sad, Self-Esteem, Sexual Content, Sexual Inexperience, Tension, Topping, Torture, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, Trauma, Unrequited, Violence, domestic rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:15:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26952016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BMWM/pseuds/BMWM
Summary: Sakura is drunk. Lee is stressed. It's still no excuse.A nursery rhyme is her only solace when Lee takes advantage of her. Why didn't he stop?This fic is a first person recount of a domestic rape between two college-aged "soulmates".
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Rock Lee
Kudos: 7





	Supernova

**Author's Note:**

> This is based loosely off a true story. 
> 
> Because of the first person narrative choice, it may seem like it is a wise idea to stay with an abusive partner. Please, if you are with someone who is abusive, find a way to get away from them. I know it is not easy, but start making an actionable plan as soon as you can. You are not alone.
> 
> Rape and abuse is never okay.
> 
> While this fic may contain anal rape, consensual anal sex is never something to be ashamed about.

_“Twinkle, twinkle, little star.”_

I was drunk—more than drunk, really. I’d had one too many several times. It was like I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. 

The past six months had been hectic, to say the least. It was my second semester taking twenty-two credit hours, I had an incredibly active social life, my boss liked to call me in fifteen minutes before my shift started and my boyfriend, Lee, was having emotional meltdowns from the financial stress he was under. I felt I deserved to let loose, just a little. 

I loved Lee. He was so kind and energetic. Always thinking of me with gifts and hugs. Sex, too, but that’s sort of how we met. A one-night-stand turned into two-year-long relationship. He was amazing. We were going to get married.

Each night I’d fondle my promise ring he bought me at a consignment store. It wasn’t anything fancy, mostly plastic and nickel, but I had wanted it since I looked at it. It reminded me I was his, told the whole world I was off the market.

Lee wasn’t so pleased.

“Sakura,” he had said with a resigned sigh, “Why do you want a promise ring so badly?”

“Because I love you,” I had responded.

And he’d smiled then, brought me into that crushing hug, where he smelled like lemons and oil grease. It had been so nice. To feel that love. To be with him.

_“How I wonder what you are.”_

Lee brought me home. We were in his bedroom. I was feeling sad. Rum tended to do that to me. Lee was saying something, looking at me so maliciously. Or, maybe that was the alcohol talking? It was hard to say.

“…so, you can stay, if you have anal with me.”

Anal? Hadn’t I told him that I didn’t want to have anal sex? Wasn’t this a conversation I kept telling him ‘no’ on?

But the words couldn’t come. I stared blankly at him, thinking of going home to my roommates, with whom I was having major issues. I thought of walking out, down some stairs, out into the night. Of trying to find my way home in my current state.

There was only one option, it seemed. 

“If you have anal with me, I get to do it you.”

Lee had told me of the time he’d had anal sex. He hadn’t enjoyed it at all. He had told me he would never, ever, go back to that kind of sex again.

“Sure.”

It was so simple, the way he said it. It rolled off his tongue like butter. I stared, my brain barely comprehending what was happening.

And then, there was Lee, helping me out of my clothes, directing me to his bed—the bed where we had been lovingly having sex for so long. The bed where our baby had been made. 

The baby, who was decomposing in a sewer after being forcibly expelled from my body the Christmas before. That miscarriage had started our distance, had created a me that I couldn’t recognize. Was this God punishing me? Had I done something so awful that this is what I deserved—a world where no one, not even myself, behaved the same?

And then I was crawling onto the bed, raising my butt into the air, feeling my breath as it came in short ragged breaths. I could do this. I deserved it, right? If I could just enjoy it, it would all be okay.

_“Up above the world so high.”_

The words rushed out my mouth in hiss. Over and over again I sang Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. My eyes squeezed shut, wishing beyond anything for him to realize that I wasn’t acting normal. Wishing for him to realize I wasn’t even moving, was barely breathing and that I was crying.

The worst part was that it didn’t actually feel that bad. I knew I was feeling pleasure—more pleasure than I had in months. After the miscarriage vaginal sex had seemed like such a chore, I could never find a release. But with anal, I felt the buildup of a latent orgasm stirring in my gut.

And for the first time I felt dirty. This was so wrong. I didn’t want to feel this way. Not here, not now, not with him.

Not like this.

The tears ran down my face, my body jerked with his every thrust. I hated him, I thought. But then realized I didn’t. He was the first person to have sex with me, he was the father of my baby, and we were going to get married!

I loved him, and I knew I was a fool. I knew I wasn’t thinking straight, that something had broken inside of me a long time ago. It felt like he was as good as it was going to get, and I knew I had to stick with it just for that reason.

They say that when it’s not broken don’t fix it, and I loved him for all his dents and scratches. 

_“Like a diamond in the sky.”_

And then he stopped. I knew he hadn’t reached climax as he pulled out of me. I stayed where I was, waiting for a signal from him that it was all over.

He patted my rump softly. “I’m done now.”

It was so soft, so loving. Looking back, I could see a strange expression on his face. Lee was usually so cheerful, so energetic, so kind, so compassionate—but this look was new, so introspective. 

I slid off the bed and thudded to the bathroom. I felt disgusting. Like worse than bile. My skin was crawling, my body felt weak. I was angry, my head swam from the alcohol. I felt like vomiting. But most of all, I felt like it was my fault.

I hadn’t said no. I had agreed, in some way, with my twisted ultimatum. Hadn’t they always said never use ultimatums because they’d bite you in the butt? Well, this one sure did.

I started the water in the shower. Letting it turn up to as high as I could stand it, then pushed it all the way it could go. I stepped in, knowing that I needed to wash off the layer of grime that was surely coating my body. And then I realized, the only soap that was there was his.

And so I grit and bore it. 

I washed with his soap. I scrubbed with his loofa. I used his shampoo. I smelled like him, my skin was raw and I couldn’t stop shaking, but I knew that this was my cross to bear. 

_“Twinkle, twinkle, little star.”_

And then I couldn’t stay in the bathroom anymore. I pulled on his pajamas that were on the floor, leaving behind my crumpled party clothes, and stepped back into the bedroom, where Lee was waiting.

He was sitting on the bed, staring at the floor. He looked up as I stepped closer to him.

“Why did you stop?”

It was the only question that made sense to ask—the only one I wanted an answer to. Lee’s face crumpled into an uncharacteristic frown. His normally bright, loving eyes were marred in anger.

“Because you weren’t fun anymore.”

_**“Oh, how I wonder what you are!”** _

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos!


End file.
